Ledger Dons Make-Up, Sports Effeminate Color Palate, Plays Joker

When rumor began circulating a couple weeks ago on many a fanboy site about the alleged casting of Heath Ledger as the Joker in the hotly anticipated sequel to last year's Batman Begins -- which has officially been christened The Dark Knight -- it left a bad taste in my mouth. Like, the "I just woke up from a night of a hard partying and realized that the 3am burger with everything on it which seemed like such a great idea at the time is currently residing in a chunky puddle on my favorite pillow which I may or may not have cuddled with last night and WHAT in god's name was in that SPECIAL SAUCE'!?" sort of bad taste. It should come as no great shock then, that when CNN.com finally managed to confirm the veracity of the rumor late last night they also drove a metaphoric bat-a-rang into my heart.

There are many individuals out there who find Heath Ledger to be a truly gifted, special actor. I am not one of them. Now I won't go so far as to insinuate that Mr. Ledger is a bad actor because that is simply not the case. I think he's a fine actor, but his being cast goes so far against that I just can't seem to wrap my head around him playing the Joker. As a vehicle for my catharsis, I thought I might use this entry to take a trip down Memory Lane and weigh the relative merits of some of Heath's better known roles:

Ten Things I Hate About You (1999) -- I LOVE this movie, I saw it three times in the theatre, and even argued with one of my friends just last week about how I think it's a teen clasic. I mean, who doesn't love the scene where Julia Stiles shows her soccer coach "the plan"? Or the part where Heath sings Can't Take My Eyes Off of You while being accompanied by the marching band? I wish someone would serenade me like that! How sweet.

The Patriot (2000)-- This may or may not have been one of the first movies during which I actually cried. But I'll never tell. Perhaps, if you're able to locate one of my best friends from high school, a Mr. Dylan Arthur Huey, he will tell you. I really thought Heath stood out in this. In a good way.

A Knight's Tale (2001)-- Not the best film ever, but it's still okay because you get to see Paul Bettany naked. In some way, I can even give Heath bonus points for that. I had to be dragged to see it becasue I thought it looked completely retarded, but I know I ended up enjoying myself. I can't believe I'm admitting that in print.

Monster's Ball (2001)-- Did you forget he was even in this movie, too? Does anyone even remember anything about this film besides Halle Berry's sugar tits* and their subsequent Oscar win? My boyfriend -- who has generally impeccable taste in "quality filmmaking", though is prone to lapses in judgement regarding lesser faire -- tells me Heath's performance "was just as good as Halle, only smaller," though I believe his brains may be slightly addled by how attractive he finds Heath to be. He kills himself in it, right? That was shocking.

The Four Feathers (2002)-- Yes, I was one of the thirty-seven people in America that saw this film. Yes, I was one of the two that liked it. Yes, my taste level is highly questionable and you should maybe stop reading this blog right now and set your computer on fire. I think Kate Hudson and Wes Bentley, as well as Heath, are wonderful in this movie.

Ned Kelly (2003)-- Didn't this get released straight to video?

The Order (2003)-- Quite possibly the worst film ever made. An utter disaster. I remember they delayed its release to re-shoot the ending because it had tested so poorly. Rather than actually doing that, I think someone at the studio decided it would be too costly and they just released it in February.

The Brothers Grimm (2005)-- The Brothers Crap, is more like it. I hated EVERYTHING about this piece of shit.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)-- Truthfully, I have precious little to say about this film. I loved parts of it, but left feeling kind of empty. That conflict of emotion usually leads me to not-so-righteous judgement. What's worse, La Ledger's performance was one of my least favorite parts of the film.

Casanova (2005)-- Why, Lena Olin? Why did you participate in this movie? You're so fabulous on Alias, surely you can do better. Ugh, the trailer alone was EXCRUCIATING. Irina Derevko would be sooo disappointed.

Okay, based on the collective merits of these films alone, I'm still a little worried. I both saw and liked his first five major movies, but the latter five on the list hurt me. Perhaps I can just ignore the last four years of his filmography and hope for the best? There IS promise there, he CAN be goofy and edgy, right? Maybe I needn't fret. He is an Academy Award nominated actor now, after all. Just please, PLEASE be good!

Here's what I'll leave you with-- though Jack Nicholson's Joker is tolerable and entertaining in many ways, he is not in any way rooted by the mythology of the character in the comics. My main concern is for the preservation of the spirit of the comic book; I'm a huge nerd fanboy, and I just want them to get the Joker right this time. Plus, though I do love Christopher Nolan's approach to the Bat Franchise -- grounding everything in reality -- I will remain suspicious as to how one will go about "grounding" a psychotic gang leader who dresses like a clown and has a theatrical flair for nasty murders until I see some promising dailies. That's a hint, Warner Brothers, write that down and have them courriered over, ASAP!

*Courtesy Mel Gibson.