WEDNESDAY NIGHT RAW: PROJECT RUNWAY SMACKDOWN

Far and away the most polarizing batch of Project Runway yet, season three has delivered all the goods with multiple crazies [Bradley! Vincent! Angela!], a first-ever shocking dismissal from the show [Keith!], and more than enough homos to cast an all-gay remake of Dallas called Chelsea -- or Phallus as the cast and crew will take to calling it on set -- starring Tim Gunn as the beloved patriach of a dysfunctional family of charmeuse tycoons living in Manhattan [Hello Kayne, Keith, Robert, Malan, Laura, and probably Michael Knight!]. What, with Jeffrey making Angela's mother cry, Alison's undeserved premature auf-ing, and Vincent's perpetual state of arousal, there was nary a dull moment. Though their collections have been online courtesy New York Magazine for over a month, I had previously refrained from posting anything about them out of respect for those who enjoy the elements of suspense and surprise the show employs. However, since the grand finale is tonight, I've decided it's now okay to do a posting about the Final Four and how well they fared at Fashion Week in Bryant Park. Let's begin...

Michael Knight, America's Sweetheart

Taking this year's "SERIOUSLY-- what the fug were you even THINKING" award, Michael fell in the vein of Daniel V. from last season; brilliant and promising while under the pressure and restrictions of the challenges, but unfocused and too-ambitious in the execution of his collection. Here's his final look:

Arguably, it's his strongest piece as well. The whole collection is very Baby Phat cumGucci by way of Bebe as reimagined by the design team over at Forever 21-- though this print is sort of garish in the way you typically expect from Versace. I really do like Michael, and am glad that he at least won the title of "fan favorite" during the reunion episode. Because he's got about a snowball's chance in hell of winning this season. A poorly-designed, ill-fitting snowball's chance in hell, that is.


Ulrike Herzner, Living the American Dream

I just adore Uli and her quaint foreigner's ever-so-slightly-skewed grasp of the English language. I also love that Heidi gets all a-twitter around her and begins jabbering away in German whenever she sees her. Plus Uli's pretty, but in a delightfully quirky sort of way! Her collection, in turn, suited her well; very fresh, very now, and all the while true to her aesthetic. The final look is one of her signature flowy printed-dresses, and though it isn't her most inspired work it's lovely all the same:

The other thing I like so much about Uli is that she made no qualms about bitch-jacking Michael's model Nazri right out from under him at the first available opportunity, and then later confessed to the camera, "It's a competition. You have to do whatever you need to do to make your presentation the best on the runway." Her attitude, experience, and playful sense of style make her varied-yet-cohesive collection a strong contender for the win.


Jeffrey Sebelia, The Mouthiest Neck Ever

Jeffrey, for me, is one of the most interesting contestants ever to grace the fair Runway. It's fascinating that the producers seem to be torn-- alternately wanting him to be this season's major antagonistic asshole, yet painstakingly attempting to humanize him at every available opportunity should he in fact win the competition and they need to paint him as the scrappy underdog. Now add the recently revealed accusations of foul play, top them off with that God-awful neck tattoo, and you have got yourself one hott mess. Which is why I understand the concerns being raised about the peculiarity of his incredibly polished collection; he's been all deconstruction and layers thus far on the show, and then shows up at fashion week all clean and pared down. Note the final look:

It's just so very Betsey Johnson Spring 2007-- that's my major problem. Seriously, follow the link and you'll see the similarities beteween the collections. Plus, I think this dress does the highly difficult job of making an emaciated girl look fat-- and while the skinny model may be grateful for her healthy new look, the fact that I cringe at the thought of this dress on women sizes 4 and up is probably not ideal. So well he may be a great reality personality, I honestly don't find Jeffrey very original or engaging as a designer, so it'll be a shame if the judges somehow stumble into a black hole and he wins.


Laura Bennett, Producer of Children and Fine Garments

Love her. Love everything about her. She's just pure sophistication and glamour. All class all the way. Her collection, too, is a great reflection of her talent. Behold her final look:

Her whole collection has splashes of the tasteful stylings of de la Renta's gowns, a dramatic flair of vintage Yves St. Laurent, and even a touch of Runway Divo-Judge Michael Kors' Spring '07 line. I imagine they'll probably tell her it was too-grown up, or too-much evening wear, or both, but I really find her collection the most tasteful and strong.

We'll find out this evening what we've all been hotly anticipating for months now; who will be America's next great fashion designer. I'm just so excited I could pee!

See you tomorrow, when we'll discuss the hopefully-joyous results!

Good day and Godspeed, friend!

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All photos cribbed from the indelible nymag.com! There's also a link embedded in the first picture to a great Project Runway article!